Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The gaps in writing are difficult to explain. I certainly haven't been without inspiration over the past several weeks and I've had blocks of time but nevertheless, it just didn't happen.

Lying here in the dark and quiet, really focusing on the "why's" of my writer's block,  I'm feeling that it may be that when I don't write it's because I have too much going on, too many forces pulling, too many events and moments that I put my head down and plow through like the lead dog and don't take the time to settle and see the finish line through the squall.

Well, I suppose things have calmed. Life is mild and sweet here at 7 Stephen Smith these days and I like it very much, thank you please may I have another and another and another and another.....

Do you really care about the times I've been able to completely connect with Penelope? Literally calm her during the storms? About witnessing the most awesome energy move between my husband and the imitable Ruby while they argue with fierce passion, cunning articulation and monumental love? About Lincoln falling head over heels with sharks so deeply that the first thing he says in the morning is "Thark? Eyum?" (shark? aquarium? for those of you who aren't fluent in Fragile X)?

Because this shit really fucking matters to me. I thrive in my people. I never feel better, more confident and powerful than when I've got an access-all-areas pass to my family's evolution. And when crap rains down like it always does, I dig into them even deeper, cover us all with a tarp and wait out the onslaught.

Some crazy goings on have swirled and whirled all up in my business this summer and I pretty much ruled it all like a boss (even when I finally, finally got the stones up to invite my mother here for a visit for PJ's birthday party and within an hour there was an ambulance at my front door).

And instead of writing about it, i've been living it. Sometimes that's just how I roll.


Anonymous said...

I enjoy reading you so much, it's worth the wait. Enjoy your family!

Anonymous said...

While I am always inspired by your honest and beautiful narratives about you & your family, as a reader I understand that the hectic life you illustrate so well here can naturally keep you away from the blog. Never write for us!! Never feel you are letting anyone down by taking breaks. Write when it feels good & right & timely & not for the benefit of the rest of us. In the end, the writing is for you. We just reap the benefits of enjoying/commiserating with/taking in the ride with you!